Se}"'en1.b€)- 1 JSKING TWO F./IVORS. ' BY JOHN Bnowx. september, 18-, my first season in the west, I was detained four or five days at the town 0f__no, I needn’t tell the name—oii one of the great rivers ofthis new country, waitirig for a steam boat to St. Louis. The usual still life of the town was disturbed at the time by a quorum of German musicians, who, with a clarionet, two tromboncs, a bass drum and a fiddle, were giving a series of concerts in the village printing office. The editor had kindly given up his sanctum for their accommodation; and as it included all the composing and pressing materials, a platform was thrown from the ink table across to one of the type stands, to accom- modate the performers, one of whom, on the first night, was most picturesquely dis- posed with his back against the “devil’s tail,” and his feet on the back of an old -4 horse,” which had been turned over for the purpose. All the beauty and fashion of the town (as we learned from the paper afterwards) were present, besides the gen- tleman in spectacles and myself; and we, by-the-way, were so well satisfied with the performance, that we deemed it entirely un- necessary to go again. The next day, observing a crowd about a little frame building across the way from the hotel, I stepped over, and found a jury sweating out a case of assault and battery, arising out of a difficulty between one of the local Germans of the town and one of the musicians. The stranger had employed a resident lawyer to defend him, while the plaiutif'I”(who was lame of a leg, and alto- gether a sympathetic looking fellow,) had engaged the services of a man about town, who made it his boast that he “ could turn his hand to anything,” and his tongue, too, for that matter. I thought the representative of the regu- lar faculty was floored; for the handy fel- |ow—Macgruder was his name——although not licensed, took the largest liberties not only with our mother tongue, but with the facts and testimony of the case, and talked the jury and justice to sleep, and gained his point triumphantly. Now, Pm a good-natured man, easily to be got acquainted with, so that Mr. Mac- gruder soon came to consider himself as oc- cupying a position a little nearer my heart than any body else in town; and as he served to kill the time, I indulged him most kindly in that felicity. We soon, in fact, became the very best of friends, and Iad- dressed him familiarly as “ Mac,” while he (by way, I suppose, of magnifying his own importance by reflection from mine,) gave me my title of “ Colonel Brown,” with scrupulous fidelity. On the evening before I left the place. it happened that Macgruder and myself had sauntered down towards the river, be telling me along story of a love adventure in his youth, and I experimenting on the greenest kind of a cigar, which required an inspira- tion like the suction of an atmospheric rail road to keep it lighted. It was my first season of smoking—1&—,and I had to use the utmost caution to smoke with safety. The cigar in question proved rather too much for me, and I felt the perspiration breaking out all over me,_ and a giddy sen- sation taking possession of the upper story. The nausea arising from tobacco is dread- ful, and I experienced it to a degree that is indescribable. Mac. symphathized with me, but could do me no good; and Ionly found temporary relief by lying down on my back, and suffering the evening breeze to play over my face and head. If I could have had a—what do they call us Missourians ?— no doubt I should have been at once re- lieved; but I could not, and had to let the sickness take its course. At length, feeling a little better, I went to the tavern and at- tempted to eat supper, but the attempt only resulted in a violent contraction of certain muscles, and the unceremonious ejection of fluid substances from the mouth—for all of which there is a name that we spell with a V. Shortly after I met my attache, when he inquired how I felt. “ Oh, pretty well now—but I was very sick a little while ago, and had to CASCADE. That,you know, always gives relief.” “ Yes, to be sure, Colune1——that’sa fact,” was-the response of Mr. Macgruder; for he assented to all my propositions. That night a boat arrived, and the next morning found me on board. Just as the boat was about putting off, my faithful friend made his appearance. “ Good bye, Colonel,” said he, shaking me warmly by the haud—“ I wish you well —but I want to make hold to ask twofavors of you.” (Lordy l thought I to myself, this fellow Wants to borrow now, on a three day’s ac- quaintance E) In THE SAINT LOUIS WEEKLY BEVEILLE. “ Well, Mr. Macgruder, any thing I can do”? “ Oh yes, I hope so—you see, Colonel Brown, you are going away on a long journey, and I may never see you again— now, when you get home, if you would just drop me a. line to let me know all about your journey, I would consider it a very great favor.” This gave me sensible relief. “ Certain- ly,” said I, “with the greatest pleasure. What else can I do for you 1”’ “Let go that line!” sung out the Cap- tain, and the boat began to move off. “ Why, Colonel,” said Mac., in a hurried whisper, “ I want to know what kind ofa cam-1 you called it 1” “ What kind of a code ?” “Yes, you see, [with a knowing smile] I want to use it on the fellows up town! I do—-sod ’em !” “ Oh, now I understand—a crucade. You take it now—don’t you ?” “ Yes —yes—a ca.rcade— but who’d a thought it ?—good bye, Colonel—a cascade —much obliged—-I’ll never forget you—- cade, cask, cascade,”-—-he continued, as he ran down the steps andjumped off the boat, —“ caseade—who’d a thought it 1” Younc. Ki:ND.u.r..—The Washington Bee of the‘ 20th inst. says: “The Hon. Amos Kendall did not arrive to-day, but it is supposed he will to-mor- row, to which time the funeral of his son has been postponed. “ Mr. Bailey’s arm is yet very painful, and compels him to remain within doors. “The impression that the accused had provocation sufficient to justify him, is somewhat gaining ground, though the evi- dence of some of'.the witnesses to-day would seem to sustain the charge of inur- der.” SCHOONI-ZR RUN INro—-Loss of Life.- The steamboat Keniiebeck, Capt. Kimball, on her passage from Boston, on Tuesday night, the 12th inst., about twelve o’clock, ran into the schooner Halcyon, Captain Perry, of Thomaston, for Camden, Maine. The schooner was loaded with five or six hundred casks oflime, and sank in about twenty minutes after being struck, carry- ing down the captain who was lost. TOBACCO IN VlRGINIA.—-The Richmond Whig, of the 19th inst., has the following card : The senior editor of the Whig, in return- ing to his post after an absence of some weeks in the interior of Virginia, congratu- lates the community on the greatly improved prospects of the corn and tobacco crops ef- fected by the late rains. Ci:ru'ro.—-Short, regular teeth, full lips and compact forehead express the vigor which characterizes her style, and that style is the perfection of a beautiful peasant girl, simple as a new blown butter-cup. (She is an exemplary wife, by the way, though she retains her maiden name of Cerito— living a quiet life, off the stage, as Madame St. Leon.)—[ Willis. MARRYING I-‘OR MONEY.—A young man named Thomas Ryan was committed to prison at Philadelphia, recently, by Alder- man Brazer, in default of $1,500 bail, to await his trial at court, on the charge of cruelly and unmercifully beating his wife, a woman who appeared old enough to be his mother, and whom he had married in the expectation of thereby getting a sum of money belonging to her. Finding that she had placed it in other hands for safe keep- ing, and that he could not readily get at it, he beat her every day in the most brutal manner, and once was seen to drag her down stairs by the feet. He was frequent- ly intoxicated, and beat her whenever he became so. They had only been married ten weeks, and lived in a continual state of warfare. His wife’s name was Ann Ryan, and this was her third husband. CANADIAN CnoPs.—The last Montreal Herald says : “The barley harvest is now well ad- vanced in this vicinity. Early sown oats are nearly ready for the sickle. Wheat is beginning to turn yellow ; but we regret to learn that the early sown has suffered con- siderably from the fly. The blight has again come upon the potatoes, and the loss will be great upon the island.” THE BOUNDARY. —- The Northeastern boundary surveys are about being finally concluded. A line thirty feet wide was cut through the forests, and cast iron monu- ments, four feet above ground, erected at regular intervals. _ I13‘ Why is a tear shed in secret like a vessel of war? Because it is a private- tear.—[Pic. The Time to Blaah.—-" Blush not now,” said a distinguished Italian to his young re- lative, whom he met issuing from a haunt of vice, “you should have blushed when you went in.” ' “SUNDAY MORNAINGLAUGUST 31. Ti-ii: TRUE DOCTRINE.—A‘l1'len(.l thus eloquently speaks: “ The true doctrine is this—if a man has ten cents in his pocket, and owes no man anything, he is rich—yes, rich !-—far above those who, with all.the externals of wealth and pomp and hollow- hearted fashion, are in reality poorin purse, poor in heart, poor in pleasure. Just as a man increases in dollars, he decreases in the capability of enjoying this life. And I hold it true that the world was made to be en- joyed, and that daily—hourly—cvery minute. I would not give a fig for such pleasure as springs alone from wealth. A man must have it in him. There is ‘ no blood in a turnip’—but there is life in a dry pebble to the man that can see it. There is fire in a flint-and power in adrop of water,i1‘ you will only take the pains to bring it out. It is the internals that make a man—not the e.rternals.” There is no mistake about it, Doctor; but man is so perverse that he will tread upon the pebble and give his whole heart to ~ gold. ARRESTED. -— A man named Charles Green, alias Jim Clark, was arrested by Capt. McDonough, yesterday morning, on the point of departure for Galena. He is charged with having committed recent rob- beries in this city, and is known to the Cap- tain as an “ old bird.” The “ Volunteers” have had their glory- noses put sadly “ out of joint” by the news from Washington, that the young gentlemen from West Point are to “come first." “ Vaulting ambition,” how art thou hobbled! Farewell the epaulette and cocked hat! —the gatherings, the parades, the bar-room valor! And, ah, ye mortal Mexicans, whose throats were to be slit, whose coffers were to suffer,—I-‘arewell l—Several gentle- men’s occupation’s done gone, dis season, sartin! I3'The St. Louis Reveille wants to know what we meant by the “pinchings and floor- in s” which “ J. M. W.” received from our 01 chairs. Mr. Reveille may ask “ W.,” and if he won’t tell, ask his umneutionables. —[ Warsaw Signal. Mr. J. M. W., will you tell us, or shall we ask the other? Look Out for Scumps!—Circumstances have transpired during the last few days that induce us to believe that our good neighbors of St. Louis have sent arcin- forcement of their rascals to this city.- [Louisville Courier. No, sir; went of their own accord: “ Birds of a feather,” kc. OHIO RIVER.-At Louisville,on the 27th inst., there were 3 feet 11 inches water in the canal, and rising. Pittsburgh, August 23d, 2 feet 10 inches water in the channel, and swelling slowly. Between Louisville and Cincinnati there were 4 feet in the channel. GONE T0 EUnoi>E.—Frederick Douglass, the fugitive Maryland slave, who spoke in New York last May, was among the pas- sengers in the Cambria, which sailed for England last week. H3’ Monstre concertskisieieflrrifito be all the rage in Germany. The musical society of Wiirzburgh, so well known throughout the profession by the name of the Harmonic, was to give three monstre concerts, on the 4th, 5th and 6th of August, at which 1,300 vocalists and 700 instrumentalists would assist. I3’ Cart:and Parke have been removed, under escort, from Trenton to the Warren County jail, preparatory to their execution. The Gazette says :-—- “ The jail of Warren county has no yard wherein to execute the prisoners according to law. An enclosure, eight feet high, has been made, which will probably prove in- sufficient. A morbid and disgusting desire to see the execution prevails in the region about Belvidcre to a great degree, and it is believed that many thousands will be pres- ent. It shocks one’s sensibilities to hear that, in order to gratify the multitude, it is intended, after the execution, to draw up the bodies to that they may be seen by all. COMICAL GRASS.—-The Abingdon Vir- ginian speaks of a section of the country where the grass is so short from drouth that the farmers will have to lather it be- fore they can cut it! THE ANTI-RE.\ITER5.—Tlley have ar- rested eleven more of the rioters, making twenty-four altogether. One of them has made important disclosures that will proba- bly lead to the arrest of every active anti- renter. Narioiuii. STEAM sun Y:inD.—-The subject of establishing a yard for the con- struction of steamers of war on the Govern- mentlands in Boston harbor, it is under- stood, is to be brought before Congress again, at its next session. MILITARY Movements-K-New Orleans. —The departure of the Alabama yester- day for Texas, (says the Pic. of the 22d inst.,) wrought up the martial ardor and excitement of our citizens to a high pitch. Nothing else was talked of during the day; passengers were running hither and thither, completing their preparations for the expe- dition, and the friends ofthe troops, and es- pecially of the volunteers of this city, crowded to the scene of embarkation, to takeleave of them and wish them “God speed” in their patriotic enterprise. We are glad to be corrected in our state- ment ofyesterday that Capt. Miles was un- successful in endeavoring to charter a steam boat for the Government. He suc- ceeded in securing the steam boat Creole, Hiern, which has just been thoron hly overhauled and repaired. She wil be rigged with a mast, as when she came out from New York. To-tnorrow she sails for Pensacola, and on Monday from that port for her destination in Texas. She will take over thirteen officers, one. hundred and fifty uieii, six horses, with riiilitary stores, &c. From the Mobile Herald and Tribune we learn that on Teusday last $100,000 left that city in charge of Purser S. Ramsey, of the Navy Yard at Pensacola, on board the pilot-boat Relief‘, for the use of the Home Squadron, now concentrated in the Gulf. We have heard it said that the captain of the ship Queen Victoria, just returned. from Aransas Bay, gives it as his opinion, from what he saw while there, thatihere is need-——and urgent need, too—ol reinforce- ments to Gen. Taylor’s command. WARI.IKE.-The Norfolk Beacon, of the 19th inst., has the following para raph: It is rumored that orders have een sent by express vessels, to the Mediterranean squadron (which is the nearest) to repair to the Gulf of Mexico, and also to other naval stations, announcing an expected declara- tion of war by Mexico against the United States. THE MAzuni