VOLUME IL] I

ST. Louis, libiiwiniriiitosma, Sl§lP'I‘EMBERI1l, i345.“

[NUMBER 8.

',_P‘UBLISl-IED ON MONDAYS, BY
KEEMLE‘. & FIELD,
Editors and Proprietors,
No.22 OLIVE Srnr:s:r,(Ni:.u: ;\I.\i:~r,)S1'. Louis
CHARLES i<r‘.i:.viLr:. Josrzrii M. rir:i.i).

TERMS OF THE REVEILLB2

WEEl(LY.—$3 a year, payahlc,i1wurinbIy, in
advance ,'—-single copies 10 cents. Advertise-
ments Fifty Cents per square, of ten lines, for
every insertion.

DAILY.—$5 a year in advance. Advertise-
ments, not exceeding ten lines, Fifty Cents for
the first, and twenty-five cents for every siihse-
quent insertion : those of greater length charged
in proportion. A liberal discount to those who
advertise by the month or year.

ova EASTERN AGENTS.

B08to1I.—REDl')lNG & Co., State street.

New York.—Messr:. MASON .‘c TUTTLE.

PhiliuicIphi'a.—V. B. PALMER.

Baltimore.—V. B. PALMER, south-east corner
of Baltimore and Calvert streets.

QF For tales! Eastern News sec third page.

I?‘ We have not been able, heretofore,
to comply with several requests for the re-
publication of the following poem, by the
late M. C. Field, a copy not having been in
our possession. The last stone, not only
of the old mansion in question, but, also, of
its time-honored companion in the upper
part of Main street, has disappeared, and
the perusal of Phazma’s verse is, now, like
a sigh given to their memory.

THE (filo!/1'lB'ull’ IIOUSE.

BY ivr. c. FIELD-

Touch not a stone! An early pioneer

Of Christian sway founded his dwelling here,
Almost alone.

‘Touch not a stone! Let the Great West com-

mand
A hoary relic of the early land;
That after generations may not say,
“ All was for gold in our forei"ather’s day,

And of our infancy we nothing own.”

Touch not a stone l

Touch not a stone! Let the old pile decay,
A relic of the time now pass’d away,
Ye heirs, who own
Lordly endowment of the ancient hall,
Till the last rafter crumbles from the wall,
And each old tree around the dwelling rots;
Yield not your heritage for “ buildinglots:”
Hold the old ruin for itself alone,
Touch not a stone!

Built by a foremost Western pioneer,
It stood upon_Saint Louis bluff to cheer
New settlers on.
Now o’er it tower majestic spire and dome,
And lonely seems the forest trader’: home;
All out of fashion, like a time-truck man,
Last of his age, his kindred and his clan,
Lingering still, a stranger and alone ;—-
Touch not a stone !
Spare the old house! The ancient mansion spare,
For ages llill to front the Market square;
That may be shown,

How those old walls of good St. Louis rock,

In native strength, shall bear against the shock
Of centuries! There shall the curious see,
When like a fable shall the story be,

How the Star City of the West has grown!

Touch not a stone!

Corns YAWLS.-—Capt. Hugh Fullerton,
of the steamer Fashion, the fleet craft of
the New Orleans and Mobile line, informs
us that his brother, “ Captain Sam,” during
his late visit to the East, contracted forthe
-early construction of a copper yawl of the
usual size for steamers.

This strange craft is made from a single
sheet of copper, pressed into shape between
two moulds, the upper and lower, leaving
the shape of the model designed-—they are
braced by cylinders of the same materials,
made air tight—rendering the craft a life
?boat—peculiarly and most admirably suited
to the southern waters, where such are not
found.

We have every confidence in the success
of the experiment, and urge our river friends
‘to its early adoption as the safest and most
certain plan of additional security to life ‘in
case of snagging, fire, &.c.

The boat is not as weighty as a clinker-
'built whale boat, is more readily handled,
and easier to manage in thewater, as her

«elasticity aidsber movement.

We look upon it as decidedly one of the
best improvements that has of late years
been introduced—and as regards expense,
we doubt much whether the cost will ex-
teed a well-built ordinary yawl.—[Concor-

dia Intclligencer.

_ E‘ A painter named Hughes, at Brook-
l)'_n, got intoxicated last week, beat his
‘wife and hit her car off.

SQUIRE FUNK’ S ./I WFUL MIST./IKE.
BY “'ING-

Well, gentlemen, the way old Funk did
jest onconsciously let himself into the dum-
dest screamin’ queer fix that ever an old
sky-bliie squire did, was the right way, I
tell ye. ,

Old Squire Funk, in the fust place, was
jest ontentionilly sent to make every man,
woman and child sick of him, and tliat’s a
fact! He knew more about things, and
told about ’em oftener, and took longer to
do it in, and made it amount to littler when
he’d get through, than the hull bilin’ of
lawyers, widers, pedlers, and pisoaers of
the county ; and, as if this wasn’l enough,
he was jest a livin’ saint, and how the deuce
they got on without him up in heaven, was
a wonder!

Well, there was another mighty queer
character in town, gentlemen, and that was
Jake Miller, who was born on a raft, suck-
led by a squaw, raised on bar meat, and
who made a liviii’ by threat’nin’ everything
human with death that cum in his way.
Jake, in spite of this, had a right good-look-
in’ wife, though, and somehow Squire Funk
had scraped up a mighty friendly acquaint-
ance witli her. Jake used to be off a flat-
boatin’, or a horse stealin’, or somethin’ or
other, and that gev Squire a chance ;—he
was ruther skace, though, when Jake was
about. Well, these two jest nat’rally hated
each other, right off hand, of course.
Squire used to moralize, and talk about
Jnke’s loose courses, and Jake used to up
and cuss him to his face for all the soul-
shrivelled old hypocrites that ever bred
mischief. He kinder suspected him, too,
about his wife, and he gev him fair notice
that he’d jest kill and eat him if he ever
caught him on his lot. Mind, I don’t say
that Mrs. Jake meant anything wrong, but
old Squire Funk, you see, knew all her folk,
and had got her to jine church ; and it was
a comfort to her to have some one to talk
to while Jake was off a raisin’ h—-ll; and
on this petic’lar night I’m a tellin’ you on,
she’d gone and writ a hull blue sheet full
of sorrer and affection to the Squire, giviii’
Jake goss, and puttin’ on the soft soap to
old Funk about a feet, I tell ye!

“I’ve bought out the hull grocery,”
sings out Jake Miller, sfandin’ in Cap"n
Tod’s store with a hull raft of fellers—“]’ve
bought out the hull grocery, cigars, peanuts,
and old rye into the bargain. Go ahead,
boys, and here’s my prayer’s, without su-
gar, for old Squire Funk, scald his pic-
ter! ”

Well now, it lsappened,just like fun, that
the old feller, with Mrs. .Iake’s letter in his
pocket, was pass’n the door at this very
minute; all on em see him, and prehaps
they did’nt have him right in the middle
on ’em, in no time!

“Take a sneeze, squire, ” says Jake,
“I’ve bought the grocery, and this is yourn,
by thunder! ” and he fills him up a quart
of sody water, (Funk oragged that he nev-
er drinked nothin’ else,) and made him cut
his throat with it all down at a swaller.
Squire was mighty skeart, but he see they
were all fine enough to skin him, so he

wiped his eyes, grinned, and went in for
humorin’ on ’em.

“Take a draw, squire! ” and off he went,
smokin’ a cigar out of each corner of his
mouth, and sneezin’ every other minnit, so
as not to injure his stomach, till the hull
crowd had lafi’d themselves about dead,
They wouldn’t give him nothin’ but soda,
tryin to bust him; while they fired up
themselves on the baldface, runnin’ all
kinds of saws, till at last the old feller feels
one on ’em adroppin’ a pack of cards in
his pocket, so as to swear ’em agin him,
He thought he’d best still take it in joke,
so, as Jake was closest to him, what does
he do but jest takes out the cards and pas-
ses ’em snug into Jake’s pocket, where
they laid onsuspected ; but, Lord at Many;
he next put his hand back in his own pock-
et, and found he’d mixed up Mrs. Jake’s
letter among the cards, and got rid of both
together!

“ Another sneeze, you succumventin’

old sinner," sings out Jake, tho’ Squire
was so full ofgas, already. that he couldn’t
keep his shirt down ;—aimtlw,r xnrrze, and
then you’ve got to run me afoot-race ."’

Lord a Massey! you ouglil’r heeril the
lafliu’ then! Down went another quart of
sody, and what twixt the letter and a. tight
waistband, old Funk kept up the awfullest
sighin’ you ever did see.

“ Gentlemcii_.” said he. tryin’ to laugh—a
stich in the side at that,—“l aint got no
objections to a foot race with Mr. Miller,
but ’f'ore we start, I jest propose that we
shake hands and forget old grudges.”

“ Good as wheat,” says Jake, “huggin’s,
if you say so.” Now this was the chance
the old feller wanted, to get that cussed let-
fer back out of Jake’s pocket. He held
out his paw, Jake cum bur over him, but
jest as Squire was gettin’ his hand in, he
got sech a lmstin’ ling that every thing went!
—all aft was a wreck, I tcll ye! whooh !
Squire Funk collapsed with a awful groan,
while the tellers jest rolled over, too, in
ramstaticsl There lay old Funk a breath-
in’ his last,and dyin’, besides, to know how
on airth he was to get the letter out of Jake’s
pocket! There he lay, explosion behind,
a bowie knife before;—certain death staring
him in the face, both sides !

Atlast Jake gotthrough lnffin’, and swore,
bust or no bust, he’d have that foot race!
Old Funk was orfully tore, and swelled
wiis’n afore, and he plead his case, but the
only answer he got was more sody. Still
he coaxed Jake, and hung around him, and
tried to get his fingers in his pocket, the
wrist kind.

“ Mr. Miller,” said Squire, slidin’ his
hand over Jake’s shoulder, “Jokesis jokes,
allers, ’mong friends—’taint as how I aint
enjoyin’ ofthis, fully--fully, Mr. Miller,-
Jake Higgins don’t put them lucifers in my
trowsers—if you please‘. As I meant to ob-
serve, Mr. Miller,”-—-Well the old feller was
a tremblin’ all this time, and Iookin’ wild,
and at the same time a tryin’ to cum it be-
hind Jake’s back——Jake a shakin’ all ovei'
with laugh. Squire was very busy a blow-
in’ his nose, and screwin’ himself up to
make a dive for the letter, when—s-cr-atch
—in went a live coon under his coat fail,
and it climbed twixt his legs fust thing, in
course, kase it’s the natur of the critter to
hang on! All creation ! how old Funk
snatched his hand back! and jest then, out
ofthe back store,jumped Tod’s cussed raw
headed bull terrier; some one said, “ Shake
him, Snap!” and in he went, teeth fust, after
Ihe coon! Oh, hair and nails! you never see
any thing shoot as Squire Funk did! There
it was, terrier and trowsers! Coon and
Squire! till the varinint had worked itself
clean up into his bosom, he, the durned
gassy old locomotive ! explorlin’ all the
while, and, at last, pitching heels and head
over a log into a pig puddle !

Well, prehaps there wa’n’j a crowd round
the Squire, and prehaps he wa’n’t a picter to
beat nater! He had suffered a few, and no
mistake! No one could tell which eend he
was nastiest! Jake Miller jest lafi’d till he
cried, and then he cried till he laf'f’d, and
then, right out of his own heart, for no hu-
man could bear spite after this, he helped
to strip and pump on old rag-tail, gave him
a drink of peach, and, to conclude, offered
him his own coat to go hum in.’

“ What!” said Squire Funk, comin’ to,
and jumpin’ right up on eend, “ you’ll lend
me your coat, Mr. Miller?”

“ well, I will, old hoss !” said Jake,
“only let’s see if there mightn’t be some-
thin’ missin’, afterwards.” Down went his
hands into the pockets—and down went
Squire, also, right on his knees again,—ancl
lucky he did, too, for Jake thought it was"
weakness, so pulled off his ,blanket coat,
without examinin’, and next minnet the old
Squire was wrapped up in it, and makin’
tracks like a Whitehead !

The extra sody and the exercise, gentle-
men, acted rather powerful, but Squire
Funk was a better man for it, for I tell ye-—
he never answered Mrs. Jake’: letter!

     

E?‘ Perfectly‘ white cats are deaf.

 

OF THE DE1"EREi'VCL‘ DUE TO STE.-IJIBOAT
IVAITERS.
nv EV!-ZRPOINT.

lwish, in quiet wise, to give unto type,
as the result of much observation, the grave
reflections consequent thereon; and my
maimer shall be as iinadorned as my matter
is sweet and gracious. I wish to speak of
the gcnlleincn attending table on our smaller
class of steam boats ;-those which, run-
ning to the ports of free States, feel the ne-
cessity of employing white persons instead
of slaves; inasmuch as that an entire sub-
mission on the part of the passengers to the
former, is preferable to abolition rows with
regard to the latter.

My remarks are intended for the use of
travellers, especially those of them who,
yet balking at“ muddy water,” are unpre-
pared to find other things of a correspond-
ing Cl€il7'7|t'.'8S. These inexperienced oiies,I
would duly advise, that the term “waiter,”
appertaining more particularly to a class of
cleanly individuals about hotels——- persons
who brush their hair and wear whitejackets
—bath no personal application other than
an offensive one in the minds of our clean
shirt contemners of the steam boats! It is
much safer, therefore, to call them all
“stewards!” until a further extension of
knowledge, under their patronage, permits
one to venture upon the sponsorial “ Wil-
liam,” or“Richard.” These 1 have known,
upon the growth ofa mutual confidence, to
be contracted even into the downright, fa-
miliar Bill and Dick !

Arrived at the landing with your baggage,
and eager to get it on board, should you
call the attention of the gentleman attend-
ing to it, and he, in consequence, should ad-
dress himself to every other article in pref-
erence, you will receive it as a rebuke, ini-
tiatory and mildly take your position as its
guard, until, all else removed, a quarrel with
a “deck hand ” adjusted, some fcw steps of
a “ nigger break down” indulged in on the
plank, and a friendly spice of budinuge with
a fanciful Irish drayman, got through with,
you are addressed with a “ Which is your
trunk?” Ifin lifting, then, one corner of
it is dropped on your toe, or another corner
stuck in your eye, you will receive it as an-
other cautionary movement, and resolve to
be as little troublesome on board as possi-
ble.

Fairly slarted,and,in your exploded ideas
of courtesy, concluding that the best way
for a large crowd to get along in a small
boat is to give and take, to think of’ others
as well as yourself; it will edify your mind,
as well as wholesomely exercise your pa-
tience, to find that the convenience of the
gentlemen attending, requires a full excep-
tion in their case; a slop tub, or a pile of
greasy plates secures a control of the
“guard;” the transposition of trunks and
mattresses establishes a first claim upon the
“boiler deck,” while the round of table
operations, from “ setting ” to “ dusting,”
and“ dusting” to “setting,” secures pos-
session ofthe cabin.

Impressed with the necessity of these ob-
servances, the nonchalance with which they
are observed, and the importance attaching
to their peculiar minislry,the passenger will
probably seek his state room for the quiet
consideration of circumstances; he will
possibly have approached something like a
Christian composition of spirit, when the
door is banged open, skinning his shins,
and one of the gentlemen attendants, turn-
ing up the mattress, pulls a pair of odorous
trowsers from under the pillow! Should
this induce an “Oh !” or“D—n P’ the stare,
mutter, and slam of the door, as it is closed
again, is a sufficient recall to the necessity
of that Christian deference already partly
resolved upon, and in a spirit of growing
humility, the passenger will mutely resolve
to say nothing about “sheets and pillow
cases.”

Notwithstanding his good resolutions,
however, he will, probably, in his igno-
rance, have ventured an indignant look,
or it may be even is downright “remark,”
remembering which, if in the morning he
is startingly awakened by an awful clash

upon the tympanum, and, springing up as
high as the upper berth will permit, he finds
an alarm bell pealing within an inch of his
ear, he will naturally conclude that it is
time to get up, and that his friend of the
preceding evening is desirous that he should
not miss the “beauties of the morning.”
He will betake himselfto the “wash-room,”
patiently await his turn at the basin, evince
neither surprise nor mortification at receiv-
ing no reply to his inquiry for “ soap”
and, finally, take It chance at the towel af-
ter a cavalier attendant has availed himself
of the sole remaining dry place.

With common prudence, the passenger
will, by this time, have come to the deferen-

tial conclusion, that “steam boat regula- _

lions” are immutable, and steam boat wai-
ters immaculate; that passengers are from
the peculiar forms of society, singularly ig-
norant of both, and that, like the other cat-
tlc, below, they must necessarily be taught
“the way they should go,” by a twisting
of their inils. In this wholesome mood of
mind, should a broom be thrust into his bel-
ly, followed by the presence ofagentleman
“come to make up,” boots or no boots,
slippers or no slippers, he will instantly
vacate his state room, patiently occupy a
rail while a dispute is carried on with the
steward, on the “guard,” as to who should
“do the knives;” and finally, re-occupy his
apartment to find his books and papers
pitched into one corner of his berth; his
boots sniffed into his hat box, and his comb,
tooth and hair brushes rolled up together in
his night shirt!

The passenger hath, undoubtedly, fruc-
tified under these mellowing influences, but
his crowning experiences, “ if he’s lucky,"
he will gain at table. He will derive much
from his fellow travellers, for many of
these, also, it behooves him to have unusual
deference for, but his especial instructors
will still be the “ waiters,”—for instance:
his exclusive attachment to tea being de-
clared, he is usually called upun to swallow
coffee, or give “trouble;” and as~th_is is,
now, his last mortal conception, be either
invites a. fit of' indigestion or fills himself a.
glass of water. At dinner his request for
“ a little of the fat” is construed into a de-
sire for the whole “flap;” his appetite is
further increased by watching a shirt
sleeve wipe up a plate of butter; while a
sudden zeal to anticipate him in serving a.

neighbor precipitates a dish of gravy into -

his bosom. This latter trial, in one case
which came under my notice, drew forth
positive temper, and undid all, for the
neophyte actually jumped up, and with a.
provokingly well directed blow under the
ear, knocked the instructor through both
doors of a state room on to the “guard.” '

Such an unhappy instance of forgetful-
ness is, of course, to be regretted, and my
object in enumerating occasions is to pre-
pare people properly for the deferential en-
durance of them. We are a great people!
and the west is a great country ! Yet would
it be nothing without steam boats; and I
thinkl have made it equally clear, that
steam boats would be nothing without
waiters! They enjoy my profound con-
sideration, and for my own part, it is a
question with me, whether, in future, I
shall ship myself as “freight” or—chang¢
places with them.

Chacun a son Gout.
“ Two men, named Harvey, had a wish
To shine in different stations:
The one composed a sauce for fish,
The other—Meditations.
Each gained the end for which he tried,
In strange extremes their efforts lying:
Ono gave all soles s relish, tried-
The other saved one soul from frying l’,

I?’ Of the population of Mexico, say
7,000,000 of people, one-seventh are whites,
the rest are Indians, half‘-breeds, and ne-
groes. So that the entire was population
of Mexico about to declare war against us
may be deemed less than 1,000,000.

SHEEP S-1-s.u.iNo.—'I‘he train from Bos-
ton, recently, brought in a sheep on its
“cow-catcher, safe and sound.—'[Spriisg-
field Rcpnb. ‘